Trend I'm Not Sure I'm Comfortable With: Lady Boys

OK brief hiatus for the Kylie Madness (more on that later) and a brief bout of what turned out not to be swine flu. Sorry to have abandoned you for so long dear readers! I come to you today with a biggun you're sure to love!

Today's topic is LADY BOYS: Fabulous or Freaky!?

What is a lady boy one may ask? Well, its not a chick with a dick situation, cause I'm sorry, but pick one. No, it is men who appropriate women's clothes and incorporate them into their own wardrobes. Something like this:


I have to say I love it! Frankly, if you know me, I've been bitching about the constraints of Men's fashion for YEARS. Women have SOOOOOO many choices (and I know all you bitches out there are saying, "But I never know what to wear!" thats not my problem). You've got skirts and dresses and, thanks to the pioneering efforts of Kate Hepburn and Mary Tyler Moore, PANTS! You've got brooches and purses and scarves and rings and bracelets. AND SHOES! Flats, 6 inch stilettos, sandals, wedges, oxfords, boots up to your coochie, platforms...on and on and on. It's not FAIR. Exciting choice in men's fashion consists of whether or not you want your blue shirt in stripe or check (you rebel!). Are your lapels wide?? I mean, lets be serious, a few years ago the idea of wearing your pants 2 inches short was considered EARTH SHATTERING (sorry Brad, you know I love you...).

And I understand, there are constraints on men placed by society (cough uptight heteros cough) that limit the amount of expression one can generally get away with (My treatise on gender roles in society will be forthcoming. It will be entitled: "My Name is Andyhay, more man than you'll ever be and more woman than anyone needs". Look for it from DoubleDay.) And granted all of that is hooey cause clearly LadyBoys walk among us, at increasing rates in NYC (though here you can get away with fashion MURDER). But for your above average guy with style its a bit limiting (even more so if you eat twice a day. Chipotle? What?)

SO through all of that I have to say that I come out in full support of the LadyBoy. I love love love pushing gender norms. Tilda Swinton is my goddess and Justin Bond sits at her right hand. I've also spent the last 20 years cultivating a love of drag queens (though thats not what we're talking about here, nor is it about transvestism. It's about STYLE). Should a 12 year old be watching "The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert"? No, but i did anyway...

I love the idea of the butch and the femme. Combat boots with a skirt! Yummy. Plus, now all us boys have one less hurdle to jump when trying to give a blow job! Easy access AND Style, Win comma Win! And frankly any excuse for men to show off their calves is enough for me. I think so many designers are showing this in all the right ways, like at Commes des Garcons. Or Marc Jacob's stellar lead by example. I have seriously considered buying a black wool kilt and some meggings and wearing them with Man Gladiators (If you know where any of that can be obtained, email me!). I even wish sometimes I could rock heels...but I have enough balance problems as it is (My beeeyoootiful little dolls!). But they don't call 'em MANolo's for nothin!

This is not a love fest, though. I have to draw the line somewhere. And that line is somewhere in between these two pictures:

Exihibit A: A pic of that queen Derek J from Real Housewives fame working out those HIDEOUS Balenciaga heels.

Exhibit B: Same guy in some heels he stole from his "athletic" sister and either a large shirt or a small dress.

See, on the right is a non offensive way to wear (mostly) women's items. Do I like this as much as the butchie goth sort of stuff I showed you earlier? Not so much, only because I wouldn't be caught DEAD in a white blazer. But I can appreciate it. But see the other, is offal (typo, it stays). I mean if you're a man and you want to wear a dress, put a little effort into it. Either go the full RuPaul, or even a little Ongina, even Drag Princess! But that...is a boy....in a dress. Nobody wins. Its not pushing fashion anywhere new. Its not making a statement other than "I have surprisingly nice calves". Or "Where's my neck?" Its tacky. And let's ALL have a sit-down-honesty moment kids, when Kim Zolciak looks better than you, its time to hang up the size 14 Louboutins. I'm just saying...

This also raises another issue I have with the whole movement. I fully support LadyBoying out. What I have trouble with is the new resurgence of the OBNOXIOUS GHETTO QUEEN. I'm telling you, it is REAL and it is a problem. Now don't get me wrong, I've queened out so hard once I gave myself whiplash, but its an issue when EVERY bar, club, street corner and subway car turns into a House Ball. Pepper LaBeija come back and show us the light! Last weekend, I couldn't turn a corner with out running into some bitches hand, voguing too big! THE MADNESS HAS TO STOP.

I guess I'll have to declare myself A-ok with Lady Boys. So seriously, any news on my kilt and gladiator mandals?? Hello??