Trend That Needs to Die: High Tops with Skinny Jeans

Look who's not dead! I realized that I had just passed my blog anniversary and have been an extremely negligent blog keeper. 7 posts in one year, blasphemy!

So I'm back to bring to you a new rant on a disturbing trend. A

trend that is full-on proof that dressing is not always about be flattering. A trend that exemplifies the motto "If one hot bitch does it, all the hot bitches will do it."

I giv

e to you: Men in skinny jeans with high-top sneakers and/or slouchy socks. A scourge on the face of fashion!

Now kids, I am all for being trendy if you can pull it off. And I am especially all for "making your own kind of music." But there's a limit. And just because all the vegan hipsters whose tote bags weigh more than they do are doing doesn't mean you should.

The image above demonstrates that on someone with no definable leg muscles, the loo

k could be kind of cool. I'm not talking cankles, people, though we'll get to that. I'm talking twig legs. People who

wear their leggings a little baggy. Those of Muppet-sized appendages are the ONLY people who can pull this look off.

You know who can't? Sexy men with beefy legs. Which is what makes this whole thing such a damn shame! I love a nice leg as much as then next person, but this looks does no favors to average-to-muscly men. Not only does it give them cankles, but it also makes their legs look REALLY short.

The result? Lower fatness!!!

Exhibit A

Poor little Joe Jonas. Clearly prone to be apple bottom, he looks like a Weeble Wobble in this look. How much lower fatness is he giving right there? A lot. Enough to make another brother and take Nick's place. He's rocking such a cute nerdy teen look that its a shame that he feels the need to cankle-ficate himself.

Exhibit B

Probably the saddest example. Mr. Marc Jacobs, who would look hot in a muumuu from Kirstie Alley's private tent/dress maker and some neon crocs, looks bottom heavy and clunky. With the shorts it wouldn't be soooo bad, but the socks kill it. LORENZO! You're the luckiest bitch on the planet. You're crazy hot and possibly married to the darling of the fashion world. Good clothes and accessories must fall at your feet. You probably walk by stores and they throw shit at you just on the off chance that you'll pick it up out of the gutter and get photographed in it. But sweetie, seriously, stop trying to make this your thing, you're ruining the view.

So let's do some good readers! If you have a friend with nice legs who insists on doing this, stage an intervention! Friends don't let friends look bottom heavy!